Nairobi, Kenya Growing up can be tough on kids, sometimes, with all the changes that happen to the body, mind, and soul. The first stage of change we all go through in the cycle of life is puberty. The physical changes can be challenging to handle in some situations, and having proper support can help a child navigate this beautiful stage of life.
Here are a few tips to help your teenager cope and understand what’s happening to them for an improved quality of life.
You have no choice but to be open
As a parent or guardian, you need to be the first point of support for your child. You do not want him or her learning vital aspects about adolescence from age-mates or social media. Yes, the school curriculum touches on puberty, but you need to come in as a parent and help your child understand themselves better.
Be there for them. Be the first person to notice changes in your kid’s body and find a nice way to introduce the puberty topic. All you are doing here is creating a conducive environment so your child feels safe to open up to you.
Be kind and gentle
Do not be pushy. In as much as you want your loved one to have the information they need, you also do not want to be pushy. Simply let him or her know that you are there for them and that they can talk to you at any time.
Puberty comes with shyness and a teenager can use a gentle, kind approach from a parent. Yes, our parents may not have approached the topic that well (we cannot blame them) but we need to do better in helping our children through the adolescence stage.
Help out with hygiene advice
Even if your child is not ready to talk to you, you can leave a note with kind words. Do you remember your times as a teenager when you wished someone was there for you to explain things? Be there for your child. Some teenagers are outgoing and can easily learn from their friends. However, others can be too shy to open up or ask.
Hygiene is a good place to use notes. For example, we all know our smell changes with hair starting to grow in the underarms. Do not wait for your child to ask for deodorant when you can clearly sense they need it. Buy one for her or him and leave a note in their bedroom. Find a good way to talk to them about underarm hygiene.
If you have a girl, menstruation hygiene is something you want to teach her. In a loving way, show her how to use menstrual products, insist on the importance of showering, and advise her on cramps, if she experiences them. You are a grown up and you know better.
Have the sex talk
In as much as you do not want your teenager to know about sex to maintain their innocence, they will somehow learn of it through friends or even social media. It is better to prevent unplanned circumstances like teen pregnancies than to pretend your child will never get intimate with some boy somewhere.
Instead of letting your teenager go through puberty with no clue about sex, guide them. You do not have to go through too many details. Kids these days know so much and if you do not tell them, they will know of it from someone else. It’s better it comes from you.
Tell your child not to be in a hurry to be an adult; that they have much time to explore life. Remember when your boyfriend or girlfriend ‘tricked’ you into getting intimate? Share with your child tips on how to avoid doing something they are not ready for. And, if they decide to, then tell them to protect themselves.
Acknowledge their feelings
Help your teen understand that what they are feeling is normal and okay. They are attracted to someone else and that is great. Guide them on how to move on from there. The last thing you want to do is make your child feel ashamed for having feelings for someone. You had them and guidance is what they need, not shaming or ridicule.
It does not matter how much we sometimes pretend that teens do not get intimate. The data says otherwise. Some KCPE and KCSE learners sat for high school national exams while pregnant and some continued after giving birth.
Puberty is a beautiful stage of life. There is nothing to be ashamed of even as body changes occur. With proper guidance and being there for your teenager, it becomes a little easier for them to go through this aspect of life instead of being in the dark and making mistakes with outcomes that can change their lives forever.
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